In case you’re wondering where Part II has gone to, I’ve decided to post Part III of my Brexit trilogy before posting Part II. Just to keep in line with the illogical rationality of the Brexit vote. Or is it the rational illogicality of the EU referendum? Well, it’s the same difference, whichever way you look at it. You think that Brexit is confusing? Well, just try figuring out the reading order of my posts.
The EU referendum was the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for the UK government to really listen to the masses.
It was really a case of Vox Populi, Vox Rei, as the Romans used to say. The voice of the people is the voice of God. Not forgetting, of course, Vox Sports…
And what did the voters say to the “In/Out – Shake it all about” question?
Now, now, that’s all European water under the bridge – or is it over the Channel Tunnel? It happened such a long time ago. The UK never joined the Euro anyway, and Jacques Delors didn’t even take notice. On the 24th June, I bought my local paper in Euro’s, and this is what I saw – and it’s much more civilised.
Well Ladies and Gentlemen – do YOU remember what you were doing on 24th June 2016. I certainly do. Between two fits of hysteria, I was frantically trying to find out if somebody, somewhere, could actually annul the validity of my UK diploma and send me packing back to the UK. Don’t misunderstand me – I just love the UK. That’s why I cried my heart out for weeks after the referendum. But you see, I’m only half British. My other half is French, and I live in the Netherlands. I have a Dutch wife who’s also Peruvian – well, not anymore. When my son was born, here in the Netherlands, my wife wasn’t Dutch yet, so my son couldn’t acquire Dutch citizenship. I had the choice between giving my son Peruvian or UK citizenship. What do you think I chose? Of course, you’re right – he’s half a Brit, just like me, although he doesn’t want to admit it. So you see, when it comes to nationalities, I’m quite a cocktail mix. And by Brexit I was severely shaken but not stirred (or is it the other way around).
But I digress. Back to Brexit. What follows is a short clip showing why people REALLY voted to leave the EU.
What about the Brexit voters?
The first 2 voters, featured in the clip, are a layabout son and his father. The son has been intoxicated ever since the referendum campaign started, and doesn’t even realise that Brexit hasn’t actually happened yet. In fact, he can’t even remember where and how he voted. As for his father (2nd interview), he actually thought that his whole family had told him to “vote out”. In fact, he was being told to “get out”…of the house…for good. He came back home absolutely rat assed once too often.
As for the lady who says she wants her country to be prosperous once again? Theresa May could well save £350m per week in EU contributions, but it looks like she’s going to have to use most of that money for Northern Ireland in order to gain DUP support.
And the Remain voters?
Well, they’ve got it spot on haven’t they? Yes Britain is too small to be great, although does size really matter when you’re having fun? And, yes, being against immigration is really terrible, especially when it’s directed against foreigners.
But I keep the best until last. The sweet lady who wants homegrown pineapples from North Cumbria and oranges from Tyneside. Well, if the UK doesn’t respect EU policies on the environment after Brexit, maybe her wish will be fulfilled. But is she really serious about home-made produce? I spent a few days in Norfolk, a few years ago, and was treated to mushy peas, soggy chips and undercooked beans. A gentle reminder of why I left in 1984.
But once Brexit has happened, this particular lady will be able to get rid of her IKEA modular sofa interior design set, and replace it with a Chesterfield sofa and oak coffee table, made in Britain. Delivery time (estimated): 1.5 years.
Yes, she really is back in Britain. Time to open the bicycle shed and get out her secretly hidden Austin Allegro, and paint the town red. British red and not EU blue. No more EU regulations – the UK can dream of making UK cars designed to run on UK roads. Remember the Austin Allegro, with its psychedelic steering wheel that hadn’t decided if it was going to be circular or rectangular, and ended up being neither?
The steering wheel of the afore-mentioned Austin Allegro does not conform to EU regulation CE18/963, 63/789, and 32/45. CE1563 certificate clearly states that conformity to the above mentioned regulations is a prerequisite for vehicle use on all roads in the European Union.
Well , Brexit is synonymous with “exit” or “get out”, but only when applied to foreign nationals. You cannot brexit a British citizen, but you can brexit everybody else. We cannot brexit foreigners whilst still being a member of the EU, so we have to leave. Once we have left and brexited all the foreigners, it’s quite likely that the Brits living in the EU will be forced to return to the UK, or “brentered”. Brexit has nothing to do with economic sense, compassion or democracy. It’s brexit the outward looking and open UK, and brenter the new “I hate anything foreign” UK. I love it… (Nigel Farage)
Brexit refers to a political leader who uses a democratic process to increase his grip on his political party. Unfortunately it backfired because other members of his party took the opportunity to seize power and depose him. Current political chaos and uncertainty about the future are only short-term side-effects. What the future holds for the UK nobody knows, but it’s going to be outside the EU. But who actually cares what it means? So long I can enjoy the peace and quiet of an early retirement. Brexit has also allowed the true anti-EU values of the Conservative party to be shown, whilst at the same time destroying all opposition parties. Brexit suits me fine, especially as I don’t have to worry about it anymore….(David Cameron)
I won’t beat about the bush and won’t even waffle as I usually do. I’ll get straight to the point as quickly as I can. No two ways about it. Brexit means “baloney” or “nonsense”. There’s in my very own personal opinion, which is mine, no better political party to carry out this baloney than ourselves. We’re the perfect match: a “nonsense” project carried out by a “balderdash” party. The very best of British. And let’s keep it that way…British. None of this Continental intellectual and compassionate trash. Brexit and grammar schools go so well together, like egg and bacon. “Yummie in my tummy”, I say…(Boris Johnson)
Brexit means Brexit…(Theresa May)
Well, there you have it. Brexit is (1) a xenophobic and isolationist concept that makes no economic sense whatsoever, (2) a democratic coup serving internal political ambitions within the Conservative party, and (3) balony. Of course, Theresa May has, as usual, the perfect answer that makes a lot of sense. Water’s water, and Brexit is Brexit.
Now tell me what YOU know…